You might be looking at a wall every day.
(Maybe you're trying to ignore it.)
It's called your wonder wall. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of tiny ingredients in your life that keep you planted where you are in safety. You are in a comfortable environment. You are fairly content. Yet you wonder what's on the other side of your wonder wall.
A miniscule window is present, and with each multiplying particle of curiosity, it expands so you can see the other side. It becomes quite clear. It seems majestic. You cannot climb through the window, however. You must scale the towering wonder wall.
If this is happening to you and you have a clear view out that window and you like what you see, now is the time to take action.
I sat in a lounge chair staring at my wonder wall for years. Over time, I would stand up and stretch my legs, and get closer to it. The window to the other side grew consistently. It became a bit more clear each day. The wall became less intimidating.
Why am I here and not over there?
Because I could not climb this wonder wall by myself, I had to figure out what would help me scale it. I had to commit time to fully grasp what might help me. I had to build a ladder.
It took years.
I would learn the ladder could be formed by stacking three essential building materials to create the rungs.
1. Internal Confidence
-Willingness to learn
-Curiosity to experiment and discover
-Discontent with status quo knowing there's a better way
Internal Confidence might be the toughest and most essential building block. If you can't trust yourself, then it's going to be a tough wall to scale. If you can't convince yourself that your idea or path is possible, then it's game over. To help myself conquer this, I learned as much as I could from the people that I looked up to most, even though I have never met them. Knowing that a different path was what I wanted proved to be the fuel I needed to keep learning and to stay motivated.
2. External Reassurance
-Inspiration from people and paths you want to follow
-Assistance and feedback from friends
-Complete buy-in from immediate family
If you are like me, perhaps you are confident, but you have that slight insecurity about what it is you are pursuing. That's where it's absolutely necessary to identify people who have taken the path you want. It's a constant reminder that it is possible. Additionally, your friends can help you refine your path, help identify your strengths and weaknesses, so long as you ask for absolute candidness in the conversation. Having your closest loved ones buy-in to your decision is perhaps the strongest material for your ladder.
Seeking and grabbing hold of external reassurance may be a tad tricky and messy. There are going to be some in your circle that doubt your mission and its possibility. They might be honest and tell you which is the best case scenario, but odds are they may subtly infuse comments into conversations that hint they aren't optimistic about what it is you're doing. It's those tiny paper cuts that you must be able to withstand and shield yourself from. In a perfect world, everyone would be fully behind you, but it probably won't be the case. Make sure you have the buy-in from the most important people in your life.
3. Proof
-Testing your idea or concept in the real world before fully devoting yourself to it
-Have others successfully done anything remotely to what it is you are pursuing?
-Can you find five ways to sell your mission to someone to prove they like it? (Not just say they like it.)
Proof is the dose of reality you need to confirm your path. Confidence and reassurance are abstract, feel-good foundations that get you to the proof stage. Proof will get you to a view on your ladder where you can finally see that the other side is indeed a reality and where you want to be.
These ingredients are what I used to build my ladder, and yours might be different, but I bet this will get you most of the way there.
These are just a few rungs to build to help conquer the wonder wall.
Perhaps it is time for you to get up from your lounge chair and take another peek out that window on your wonder wall to see if it's worth pursuing. The sooner you do, the more time you will have to enjoy the other side.
An interesting sidebar to this "wonder wall" story:
As I was writing about this wall of wonder (calling it a "wonder wall")...I suddenly remembered a particular song called "Wonderwall" by Oasis and became immediately fascinated that perhaps this title was buried in my subconscious and now resurfaced as I wrote this.
I listened and read the lyrics carefully:
Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do, about you now
Backbeat, the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you've heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now
And all the roads we have to walk are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I
Would like to say to you but I don't know how
Because maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me
And after all, you're my wonderwall
Like most songs of this kind, many people simply assume that it is a love song. I thought, what if it is not? What if "you" could mean anything? What if "you" meant simply and literally, the wall that separates us from something great?
Could it be a song about encountering our wonder wall?
Oh Kyle, you are a little nuts. You're reaching a bit.
Well, I was truly curious about the true meaning of the song so I researched it and found this from writer, Noel Gallagher:
The meaning of that song was taken away from me by the media who jumped on it, and how do you tell your Mrs it's not about her once she's read it is? It's a song about an imaginary friend who's gonna come and save you from yourself.
